Cheaters

There's a joke about a wife, who walks into the bedroom and catches her husband in bed with another woman. He's shocked that his wife would think he's cheating and says, "What are you gonna believe, me or what you see?"

Actually, it's not a joke, because we all want to believe that the person we love would never cheat. "He loves me too much to hurt me like that." Even when the obvious slaps us in the face, we want to believe him.

Some men (and women too) are so good at cheating that even if you do catch them, they can convince you it's all in your mind.

I've always said, "Go with your gut." You know in your heart when the man you're with is being dishonest; unfaithful. Some women just ignore their instincts, because it's so hard to let go; especially, when you've shared years together; especially, when he professes his love and coddles you and tells you everything you need to hear in a way that you, yourself, are convinced that you're crazy to suspect him of cheating.

How could you possibly think that he's cheating, just because there's a naked woman in YOUR bed, with YOUR husband? Are you truly nuts? lol

I've had married men hit on me, even with their wives in the other room. I guess for that reason I never wanted to get married - even shied away from intimate or steady relationships. Funny part is, if you tell the wife, she won't believe you. Even if a "best friend" has the guts to say, "Your husband/boyfriend is cheating, and I have proof," chances are, you've just lost a best friend.

My best friend's husband hit on me at a party once. I told her - my mistake. Even though it ended our friendship, it did my heart good to know that a year later he left her for another woman. I wasn't happy about it, (well maybe a little) but at least she knows now I wasn't making it up for the reasons he gave her. "OMG! She's got such an ego to think I was hitting on her. She's just jealous that we have a loving relationship." Yeah, right.

I don't know why men (or women) cheat, but I know not all men cheat alike. There are a multitude of reasons for being unfaithful and I've heard them all. The wife doesn't understand him, the wife doesn't have time for him, the wife is frigid, etc.

Some men are compulsive cheaters. They really can't help themselves. They are needy. They need to know they are desirable to the opposite sex, they need their egos fed constantly, they need more sex than one woman could possibly give them without walking funny. But why do these men marry?

There's another situation in which I think women are blind. If you've ever dated a married man, or a guy who was in a relationship and he left his significant other for you - what makes you think, you're the exception? What makes you think that he won't cheat on you? And how could you ever trust him?

I'll tell you how, because cheaters are good talkers. They're manipulating and convincing. They can paint a picture with words akin to a masterpiece. And you're gullible, because you want to believe in happily ever after. You want to believe in the fairy tales (lies) that he's telling you.

I had a friend, who was so infatuated with this guy that even when his parents told her, "He's no good, he's a loser, he has a temper, he's lazy, he runs around with sluts and he'll make you miserably unhappy" she defended him and told them they were wrong. Guess parents really do know their kids.

She was in her last year of high school, an honor student, bright in every way, except one. She fell for his bull. She got pregnant, she quit high school, she ran off with him. On welfare, with one baby and a second on the way, she appeared at her mother's door with blackened eyes and bruises all over her body.

Seems he didn't like to be accused of cheating. The sad part is, he convinced her that it was all in her mind and begged her to come back to him. "I love you more than life itself" "I can't live without you - don't want to" "Think of the kids." Yeah, we women can be dumb when it comes to love.

Someone once told me that I was too young to be so cynical about love and relationships. Guess I've just seen too much to not be cynical. What I do know is, that most men think with their dix and don't think about the consequences of their infidelity until it's too late.

Guess what? It's too late! No matter how much it hurts to walk, you'll be better off in the long run.