I came across an article today that intrigued me; not that it's a new concept, not that it's even foreign in today's society, but because it's controversial. In parts of the world obedient wives are a norm - in the U.S. not so much - I mean since women burned their bras in the 60s as a sign of liberation in a man's world, women have not had to "obey" their men.
In the 50s, it was customary for a woman to stay home and do womanly things. The old saying, "Barefoot and pregnant" was what a man expected. When he married, his naive and innocent little woman, she'd be obedient. She'd have dinner on the table, the house immaculate, and be prepared to serve him in any way he wished when he arrived home. That concept was drummed into little boys and girls since the beginning of time. After all He was the one who worked hard all day to provide for his family. However, it hasn't been that way for decades.
Although, it seems to me that when one person is the head of the household, there would be less arguments. I had a friend a while back, who was extremely submissive, but very strong-willed. She was bright and intelligent and was not without her say, but in the end, she deferred to her husband's decisions.
There exist today many 50s households. A few years ago I came across "The Good Wife's Guide" purportedly written as an article in Good Housekeeping; however, according to Snopes it may well be fake. It ends with a "Good wife always knows her place."
http://j-walk.com/other/goodwife/index.htm
After reading the "Guide" I thought, wait! What? Did such a woman ever exist? And yeah, what man wouldn't want a little slave running around the house, catering to his every need; never questioning his authority?
Of course in those days, women weren't suppose to enjoy sex either. They had to endure it to please their husbands. It was their duty as a wife.
There are Christian groups, as well, that believe the man should dominate the roost. After all "It says so in the Bible." Well, duh, that book was written by man, so yeah.
When I watch TV movies, I favor the TCM station. Films like The Thin Man, make me smile. Nick is always "The king of the castle." Not because he is, but because Nora - the really smart wife - allows him to think he's in charge, whilst all along she controls their marriage and everything he does.
People who meet me immediately get the impression that I'm a strong-willed, defiant, take no hostages kind of woman. As a matter of fact, the men I attract are usually extremely submissive types; some are just plain fearful of me. There have been, however, a couple of men, who have stood up to me in a caveman, but gentlemanly sort of way, and made me weak in the knees. If they aren't strong men, capable of tenderness, caring, and understanding, the relationship doesn't last for me.
They have to have that Nick Charles kinda flare to counter the Nora Charles kind of woman I'd like to think I am. I know what I want and I know how to get the man to give me what I want, whilst letting him think it was his idea all along. lol. Manipulative? I don't think so. Tricky? Maybe, a little. But women have always had to use a bit of trickery to make their lives easier.
My mom always said, "You can catch more flies with honey" and I've tried to remember that, although once I'm pushed to my Italian temper rage, it's difficult for me to regain my sweet, "little lady-like" composure. Whilst I enjoy being the "little woman" it takes a strong man, with confidence, who is self-assured to evoke that sweetness and submissiveness that I am capable of hiding so well.
Still, I know I could never be that 50s kind of woman. Nevertheless, I enjoy being a girl. I don't want to be the boss of some big corporation and then have to come home and be in charge of everything. In part that's what women's liberation has done.
For one thing, I think it's made men afraid to be men - confused in a way as to how to treat women. And it's given the women the right to go out and work all day (still not earning the wages of a man) then come home and make dinner, do all the household chores, have babies, take care of them, and everything else a 50s housewife used to do.
Yoko Ono, a strong, in charge kind of woman, agreed to let her hubby, John Lennon, who had become tired of the outside world at the time, be the house husband. Nothing is wrong if it works out for two people. So why do "groups" have to stick their nose in other people's business?
I have a cousin, who once told me that she'd rather hold two jobs than have to clean house and cook. Good thing she married a chef. lol Of course, you wouldn't want to drop by unannounced - come to think of it, it wouldn't matter either way.
If a woman "wants" to be the Nora Charles of the relationship so be it. It's her decision. Why do other people know what's best and feel compelled to emancipate the "poor, deluded woman?"
Women's Rights groups are appalled with the Malyasian "Obedient Wives Club" and are determined to interfere with their views.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/06/05/us-malaysia-women-idUSTRE7540FL20110605
If these women prefer to be obedient little wives, leave them alone.
What say you?
10 comments:
I'm a girl, who loves a take charge kind of guy.
Since you like old time movies, there's one called McClintock or something like that with John Wayne.
Maureen Ohara was a royal B**** and then finally, he took her over his knee and spanked her. Wow! Did she ever calm down.
I think, men would probably be scared to do something like that with today's girls. The girl would probably beat the hell out of him.
This was interesting and thanks for the links. That good wife's guide was LOL.
If you grow up in a house where the man rules, I guess that's how you would think too.
My mom doesn't work but part time and she does cater to my dad. They still argue though.
I don't exactly know how I feel about it. I like girls with a mind of their own, but the 50s house wife sounds really good. lol
Women, who are a challange are always more interesting, I think.
Thanks for the comments guys.
I've seen the movie with John Wayne - not sure what the name is - and yeah that was pretty hot. But I agree most men today - although I know one who wouldn't hesitate lol- would be afraid of getting their privates cut off in their sleep.
And mikey, just because a woman is submissive doesn't mean she doesn't have a mind of her own. I think you're misinformed.
My friend, who defers to her husband, has very much a mind of her own. And even though your mom caters to your dad - there's probably arguments, because she does have a mind of her own.
In the back of my mind, I'm thinking that most women are little girls at heart, who like to be guided and controlled somewhat.
If a man allows me to emasculate him, I will. Believe me, I can cut a man down verbally so that he's nothing more than the one-cell from which he was created, and I'll do it - IF the man allows.
Most men run with their tails between their legs, cuz they're wimps.
Just like you enjoy girls with a mind of their own; I enjoy men, who, with a look, can put me in my place.
This is nuts! Control freaks should die. They abusive m effers and cheat and beat up their wives and drunks and junkies.
Why would anyone want to be with soemone like that. These kinds of women have low esteem of themselves and need to be saved.
Girls are still fighting for their rights for freedom and you want to take it away from them?
Ummm... what are you 12?
I published your post just so people can see how dumb some people are.
Did you even read the post? Do you have any idea what it's about? How can you compare control freaks with dominant men, whose women choose to be submissive? The operative word being CHOOSE!
Sorry, but I can't figure out your reasoning - if there is any.
And I'm certainly not trying to take any freedoms from women - or from myself. Once again, it's a choice made by a lot of women.
Lucky Taz believes that in most wedding ceremonies, the word "obey" has been taken out of the marriage vows.
I believe a marriage (or relationship) should be a partnership of love and respect. No one person whould be "in charge" of another unless it's your boss at work.
I love a clean house, but if the man wants to clean it, that's ok with me (as long as he does it how I want).
A 50's woman ... I think NOT !!
Apparently the word "obey" hasn't been removed from all ceremonies. Kate Middleton opted to omit the word in her exchange of vows.
Whilst many agree that a relationship should be 50/50, I wonder if that's possible in any union.
Undoubtedly, it's an ideal situation; however, in order to have a fulfilling and harmonious bond, one partner, more than likely, is more dominant over the other - whether it involves finances, raising the children, sex, day to day chores, etc.
Frankly, if someone tells me their partnership is 50/50, I'd be like, "mmhmm, you're delusional too."
A marriage, or long-term relationship, must consist of compromise and the ability to see the reasoning of their significant other.
If you have two equally dominant personalities in a relationship, I'd venture to say, the couples' next vacation will be to divorce court.
On the flip side, if there are two equally submissive personalities in a relationship, nothing would ever happen. lol
"Do you want to have sex tonight?"
"Ummmm... I don't know, do you?"
-----------------
"What do you want for dinner?"
"Whatever you want?
"Well I want whatever you want."
"Maybe we should go out for dinner?"
"I don't care, is that what you want to do?"
-----------------
Get my point? There has to be a decision maker in the family. A fair and just decision maker; one who listens and weighs an argument with the precision of a judge.
Many churches omitted the "obey" word to minimize physical abuse. Did that work?
An extensive list of groups abide by male dominance (not to be construed as abuse); therefore, I have to wonder if there isn't something there to investigate and ponder.
Don't forget that "MAN" wrote the laws since the beginning of time. So, yeah, he's going to write them in his favor. "I am man and woman shall worship me and abide by my rules."
I've never verified this, but I was told that in my town, there still exists in the law books, that on the first Wednesday of each month, a husband can bring his "disobedient" wife to the court house, where she will be publicly punished.
If that's true, apparently the men in this town don't know it exists. LOL
There are so many variables, that I'm hard pressed to say yea or nay. Obviously, people have different views and have to form a relationship based on what's right for them.
My question is, do other people have the right to tell "obedient wives" in Malaysia, they're wrong in their thinking? It's my contention that if it works for me, mind your own damn business and don't judge me based on what's right for you.
Bottom line for me is, I'm just happy that women of yore have given today's women a choice.
To somewhat go along with your blog about submissive women of the 50's, I always wonder who ever came up with the idea that to be a "woman" you have to shave, put on makeup, paint your toenails if you want to wear sandals, color and "do" your hair, use wrinkle creams, wear fashionable clothes, etc. Whoever came up with all this stuff that women HAVE to do ??? I want to find them and kill them. Men have a much easier time. Men can be ready to go out in 15 minutes ... me, at least 45 min. and mostly 1 hr. How unfair life is.
Lucky Taz totally agrees with your final comment. Everyone should mind their own business. That's one of the things that's wrong with the world today ... we get into everyone else's business that really isn't any of our business.
I also wanted to comment on you saying that men wrote all the laws so of course they're in their favor. That's the same thing that's wrong with our government today. They write all the laws in their favor.
To Anonymous...blame it on the Egyptians. But no one is telling you, you have to wear make-up, paint your nails, etc. It's your choice. Of course, please do continue to shower, shave, and roll on some deodorant. lol
Frankly, I think we care too much about what other people think of us. Hence, we let others dictate our lives.
Obviously, I agree 100% with LuckyTaz; however, as far as government is concerned - that's the peoples fault, cuz we voted em in and are having a difficult time getting rid of them.
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