Blondes Aren't Dumb! Or Are They?

The stereotypical blonde is an airhead, bimbo, with a hot, curvaceous bod. When you think of blondes, you think, "Dumb blonde" jokes. I don't know if most blondes find them funny, because for the most part, there's lots of intelligent blondes out there. Hillary Clinton, for one. Of course, she's not the stereotypical blonde. Had she been, Bill probably wouldn't have gotten caught in the Oval Office doing the naughty with a dark-haired Monica Lewinsky.

Whilst I'm a blonde, I don't resent "dumb blonde" jokes at all. They're funny. And I'm confident enough with my intelligence, that I can laugh at the jokes. Mensa members were so impressed with my IQ that, at the first meeting I attended, I received a standing ovation. Wait! That might have been a dream. lol

Anyway, the blondes portrayed in jokes aren't real. At least that's what I've always believed. Then, I met Debbie. Debbie's a blonde, but she's not dumb, either. Her sister, however, wellllllll....let's just say she doesn't have both oars in the water.

Until I actually met her, I thought Debbie was making up all the stories about her sister - even after people, who had met her, confirmed that she's a few cards short of a full deck.

The stories are so funny, so unbelievable, that I felt compelled to share them here with you.

When Debbie's sister (whose name escapes me) first moved to our town, Debbie gave her sister directions to her house in the country. Knowing her sister well, she said, "Make sure that you pick out a landmark, when you make the turn, so you'll always remember how to get here."

Surprisingly, her sister found the place without incident.

A couple weeks later Debbie told her to drive out to pick up something. "Do you remember the landmark?" (sister never told Debbie what it was and I guess Debbie felt it was irrelevant)Her sister assured her she did. Debbie waited an hour, then two, and then decided her sister was lost. She called her cell and asked where she was. "I'm back home, because I couldn't find the landmark."

Yeah, she didn't bother calling Debbie when she got lost, instead she went back home. *rolls eyes*

"Are you sure you remembered the landmark?"

"Yeah, duh! Only it wasn't there."

"Huh? Landmarks don't disappear."

"Well, this one did. I remember for sure when I turned down your road the first time, there was a cow standing by the fence." True story!

Another time she bought a great big bag of Kibbles n Bits, at Walmart, for her pooch. The next day she returned to Walmart with her purchase. She walked up to the customer service desk and slammed the bag on the counter.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I'll say there is!" she huffed. "I fed this to my dog and nothing happened."

Confused, the CSR looked at her and asked, "What did you think was going to happen?"

"Are you kidding me? In the commercial, the dog dances. Mine didn't! It's false advertisement and I want my money back." True story!

God, I wish I had been there to see the CSR's face.

One Thanksgiving eve, the sister's husband (me thinks she must be good in bed lol) was baking pumpkin pies. (yeah, he doesn't let her near the stove) He had already gone shopping, but forgot the evaporated milk that the recipe called for.

He gave his wife money and a note that read, "Two, 12 oz. cans of evaporated milk - any brand." He figured he had that pretty well covered. But when she returned home empty handed, he's like, "wtf?"

She glared at him. "You must really think I'm so stupid that I wouldn't ask someone the meaning of evaporated!" (She was in dairy looking for cans of milk when she finally asked someone)

His expression must have been priceless. "Okay, so where's the milk?"

"I went through every can there and they were all full. You just wanted me out of the house," she said, followed by even stronger glares. True Story!

So, even though, in most cases, "dumb blonde" jokes are fiction - somewhere there's a blonde just like Debbie's sister, running around on the loose. You might see her in Walmart, shaking the cans of evaporated milk, or at the customer service desk ranting about false advertisement. For heaven's sake, though, if you have a cow that wanders to the fence, keep em chained there, she just might be someone's landmark.